As the Black Lodge version to the Memorable quotes(White Lodge) thread, what are some of the most cringeworthy quotes from TP/FWWM? We all know the writing on the series and film was incredible, but every now and again there was a stinker.  What are some of your least favorite quotes from TP?

I will start off-  "You're my daddy!  You're my daddy!" - Donna to Doc Hayward in Ep 29

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

"What did the little man do in my dream? He danced. Leland danced compulsively after Laura's death. Sarah Palmer described BOB as a gray-haired man; Leland's hair turned gray overnight."

 Such a great exposition for the characters and an end to another accompanied by an explanation that's damn circuitous.

It is embarrasing when Bobby is on Jacoby's couch talking about Laura and he burst into tears. I can't remember what he says but he is NOT a very convincing cryer.

 Really? I love that part, i think Ashbrook is great there.

The part that really sets my teeth on edge is when Cooper asks Andy for the fine-twine in the vets. You'll know what i mean if you re-watch it. And the part when Hawk says "Andy, are you crazy?" and does that lame pointy thing that looks straight out of a primary school play.

Aside from that, TP is flawless. Almost.

Some of Audrey's early lines... "oh daddy I'm so scared", etc...

"Harry, I'm going to let you in on a little secret. Every day, once a day, give yourself a present. Don't plan it, don't wait for it, just let it happen. Could be a new shirt at the men's store, a catnap in your office chair, or two cups of good, hot, black coffee. Like this."  -Dale Cooper

 what? No way -all of Audrey's lines (and Albert's) in the first season are first rate.

"Oh, Daddy, I'm so afraid." was perfect sarcasm. Hmm, I can't think of one bad line in the first season -maybe some of the Donna/James stuff at the gazeebo, but I felt that was intentional.

I have to go with Annie and Cooper's pre love-making lines. "You're forest is strong and rooted..." "I'm dry and need watering," or something to that affect.

"Watch out, I'm going to throw you."

"Yeah, sure you are."

"CORKSCREW!!!!!"

I like her character, but I really don't buy her "noir bad girl" act. I prefer season 2 Audrey, call me crazy.

Albert was almost perfect, the only line of his I didn't like, and it was partially because Miguel didn't enuciate it properly, is the line that ends with "...is not a necessarily inherent trait." He sort of slurs it and it ruins the

effect. 

No, I think he stinks there. But almost everywhere else he is great.

I do agree about Hawk's line though. I almost posted that too, but then I remembered the Ashbrook-thing.

The conversation about trees and forests between Annie and Coop...

I know it's already been mentioned, but I have to vote for the

    "You're my daddy, [sob] you're my daddy!" line.

God, I'm wincing all over the place here. 

my user name is spelled incorrectly.

tatemae 

I think Lara Flynn Boyle does a pretty good performance in Twin Peaks. I am not sure that "You're my daddy" is so bad but this one is:

When she is on the phone with Norma about taking over Laura's route on Meals-on-wheels. I imagine she is acting with no one on the other end so the timing in the conversation/monolouge is lousy.

I feel bad criticising the best TV series ever made...

I agree. It's cheap, even borderline awful.

And sign me up for the Annie/Coop conversation from episode 28 too. I just watched that episode (only for the second time; I usually go straight from 27 to 29) and it's wretched. I also just realized that the only good part of the episode - Annie's speech - isn't even in the script! Written by Frost, perhaps?

"What credit card do you want to put that on?"
"Caash, prease."

That god damn trailer's more popular than Uncle's Day in a whorehouse!

"What credit card do you want to put that on?"
"Caash, prease."

Lucy's sister Gwin was painful. Bladders, swollen toes, waking up in fresh fruit. Calling Dr. Phil......

I think Gwen is one of those characters, along with Dick Tremayne that were born to be cringeworthy. 

Consider this embarassing exchange: 

Gwen: "You must be that native person I heard so much about...Eagle-eye ... 

Hawk: "Hawk.Sister?"

Lucy: "Oh yeah, this is my sister Gwen.This is Hawk." 

They shake hands.

Gwen: "Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you. God, how you must hate us white people after all we done to you."

Hawk: "Some of my best friend are white people."

As they part Gwen says 

Gwen: "Aaah. Anyway. Baby cries. Oh, come on!"

It's astounding how she doesn't listen to what is said.

 Later...

Gwen: "You see, people want terrible things to happen to you, I know."

Andy looks up, seemingly bothered 

 It's the way she says I know, when we all know she does not know sh*t.

The sound wind makes through the pines. The sentience of animals. What we fear and what lies beyond the darkness.

but that was the point of the Gwen character. I thought her writing was perfect for the character, although I don't know if the series really needed her.

The Cooper/Annie scene is god awful.

paraphrasing-

Your forest is pure and strong.

It's been damaged, it needs rerooting.

I'll add water.

something tells me  Annie's forest was a metaphor for something else, but I can't quite put my finger on it.

Audrey to J.J. Wheeler

"I'm a virgin."

Way to blow the lid of mystique of that pretty package you numb skulls! I thought this show was about mystery, man! That's a statement for a sub-par teen drama. Audrey was dark, sensual and mysterious but somewhere in the second season she became pretty bland and slowly turned into a "misunderstood teen "stereotype.  This line is the culmination of all the dumbing down and bleaching out of her character over the shows final season.

-Req