Hey folks, let's get this show on the road!  This week, we feature the first moments of quasi-possession as well as the most inexplicable gunpoint cocaine heist in the history of English literature.  HOORAY!

Have fun!

Okay, geoff. I'll start with the quasi-posession.  

The only thing I would add to what you're saying, Twelve, is that I think Laura does the "bad" things she does not exactly so she'll be less appealing to BOB, but in order to show him that she's in control of her body and situation.  She thinks that showing him that she can control herself sexually, etc., will make him not want her as much because he can't control her.  The way she explains it (July 25, 1986; pages 60-62) is that she wants to show BOB she's not afraid any more, so she goes out to their "spot" in the daylight and does the sorts of things he would do to her to try and coax him out of the shadows.  In my reading, what this actually does is play right into his hands because it makes her hate herself for the "bad" things she does.  As the passage progresses, she starts to sound more and more like BOB, talking about talking through a different "voice" and forcing others to do sexual things.  This is a moment of strength for Laura, but I also believe it's exactly the sort of thing BOB wants to make her do.  So I dunno overall... I think it's win/lose for her.  She's taking control of the "dark" or "bad" side of her, but she's also embodying it.

Speaking of which, I don't think that Laura's "bad" side is any different than the "bad" sides we all have as humans.  I think BOB's goal is just to exploit and widen these dark parts of our personalities so that we start to question ourselves maybe, then he can more easily be "invited" in.

The quasi-possession might be an artefact of this.  In fact, the first time it actually happens (Feb 3, 1987; or page 85), she's going through coke-withdrawl.  Other times, she's already feeling really distressed.  I think maybe the intensely negative emotions she expresses might give him a kind of peephole into her mind in these moments.  Maybe.

Hey Twelve... when you say April 12, 1986, do you mean April 2, 1987?  Cause I dont have the former in my book anywhere, and it seems like maybe you meant the latter (page 86).

You're right. p 86, 1987.   We're pretty much arriving at the same destination, as far as BOB influencing this dark side and playing into his hands, no matter what she does.  That's why her struggle is so sad- she has this foe who doesn't seem to have any weaknesses, and between him and the drugs, he's just grinding her down.

And she's still going back and forth about whether or not he's real over and over, and I think that shows BOB's insidiousness perfectly.  She's not sure of his control, how in her head he's gotten.

Other thoughts... 

Just as Laura was really grateful for her experience with the older boys, she takes instinctively to the orgy in the woods, learning about B&D with Leo. This seems to be another exercise in teaching herself not to fear, but by being deified as a pretend slave, she is flirting with the darkness of being degraded by BOB. (Again, by gaining control of her desires she's losing herself to BOB.)

I love how much detail Jen gives to Laura's relationship with Bobby, who looks to Leo as the alpha male, and the gradual destruction of their relationship. When she loses her virginity, we see the paradox of sex.  It's an opportunity to give yourself completely to the experience, but also to manipulate someone else. But has she had sex with BOB yet? He threatens to on p. 108.

I don't think Bobby's tv incarnation would have been as sympathetic if he was shown as a doper (Shelly is mentioned getting high with Leo, Bobby and Laura in the diary, too).  Maybe the shooting in FWWM is supposed to be analogous to the one in the book- easier to film, made more sense. 

Anyone else get the feeling that the trees themselves are these wise.. sentinels, I guess, but the woods are a place of evil?  And how about the release of Troy, and the incident with the 2nd dead cat?

I think it's my favourite part of the book, especially the first half of the period in subject, ie. summer 1986.

What she finishes the June 22. note with - it's presenting Laura as the Abraham type: she needs to face the test and remain true, no matter if it brings along becoming immoral. Immorality isn't nearly as important as staying on the right side,

Nothing ever explains in a better way WHY Laura decided to be bad.
Nothing ever explains in a more moving way why (she thought) that being in control of herself was essential even if her innocence was to be buried.

You suggested above that behaving the way she did, she followed the path BOB prepared for her. Well, I disagree. I think for BOB the essential thing was that Laura becomes his , and not what way she behaved.
Same thing, for her it was most important that she remained herself, even if the boughs of innocence should burn.

Bobi 1 Kenobi

B. Beware
O. Of
B. BOB 

I think part of BOB's idea was to make Laura "bad" because doing so wore her down and made her easier to control.  As I said, it is in her greatest moments of sorrow and turmoil that he speaks to her on the page.  The irony is that the things that make her feel good... the drugs, sex, etc... are exactly the things that wear her down eventually.

ah, it does break my heart to read of laura's molestation by bob/leland. i can see how she feels that she is dirtied by this activity and that she feels that she is not worthwhile as a person as a result. i believe that this may often be the case with children/teens who endure sexual abuse. i think she is trying to numb herself by the heavy indulgeance in drugs and sexual promiscuity. perhaps laura represents many sexually abused kids. as well, she is a victim of  incest with a father possessed by the evil entity, BOB.

anyhoo, just my take on things.

it's pileated, isn't it?

Yes it could be BOB's idea but did it work?
Looks like it didn't - because Laura was unusually strong to protect her existence against the parasite. She put everything at stake and she won. Lost her innocence, was a bitch to Bobby and so on - but she didn't let him in.

Isn't it the way such things usually work...  Yet that is what wore her down in a usual, human and moral meaning, but again - did it eventually make her more vulnerable to BOB?
I don't think so, her pain and sorrow grew but... not for him.

Bobi 1 Kenobi

B. Beware
O. Of
B. BOB 

I think you're being a little romantic here, bob.  Sure, maybe his ultimate goal of possessing her wasnt accomplished, but making her give up pain and sorrow in any form is only good news for him.

Also, it may seem that she "triumphed" over him... but only at the cost of her life.  I would think that, while still preferable to the alternative, is a pretty slight triumph

Hmm. I think that's open to discussion and we would probably not agree. But isn't it going on to the field of Fire Walk With Me? ;-)

Actually, it will be hard NOT to move on to the movie from time to time because I feel FWWM and the Secret Diary complement one another superbly.

But remaining on the level of the very young Laura that we read about in those 1986-87 parts of her diary, yes we can say that the influence of BOB led the girl gradually towards the downward spiral :-(
The worst part of which was that she not only destroyed herself but also hurt others - as in the painful scene with Bobby.

It's really well written, you can actually feel her pain, and his broken pride, and the necessity of her behaving this way (real or imaginary necessity, but what I mean is - we clearly see that within her logics it was the only way she could have behaved).

Bobi 1 Kenobi

B. Beware
O. Of
B. BOB 

The grace for Laura is that though she may have inflicted a certain manipulation or callousness upon others, she never physically harmed anyone as Leland did with Teresa.  The violence that is associated with the men in the series is something she fights against.  She is surrounded by child-like figures (Bobby, Donna, James, Harold Smith, Johnny Horne, the girl Danielle) who she does her best to insulate from pain.  In Fire Walk With Me she saves Donna from violation when she could've just stood by idly.  She does feel terrible guilt for both the death of the cat and of the horse Troy (that passage is heartwrenching).  As she sinks deeper into darkness in the film, she's cutting herself off from her various confidants in order to protect them.  Her apparent cruelty to James veils her need to spare him the horror.  

I have to say that I love the idea of the Angel representing her conscience, an abstraction that may seem gone but still hovers about the proceedings and makes itself manifest at an essential moment.  I have to wonder if Ronette was intended by BOB to be Laura's first victim.  The intervening Angel is Laura's empathy and kindness effectively saving the girl.

Got up early, found something's missing/ My only name/ No one else sees but I got stuck/ And soon forever came

Bobi 1 Kenobi

B. Beware
O. Of
B. BOB 

Maybe Danielle might've turned up in the series had it continued.  It also doesn't seem that Harold was terribly alienated by Laura.  He remains her confidant and doesn't experience the violent sense of betrayal he does when he and Donna part ways. 

Got up early, found something's missing/ My only name/ No one else sees but I got stuck/ And soon forever came

I must tell you that re-reading the Diary now (after quite a few years) I come to a realisation of something unexpected:

The story terrifies me because my daughter is getting near that age!

When I read the Secret Diary in the past I was never thinking of it that way - and also, it was still different over here with the dangers young people have to face. Living in communism had few merits but one of them was that children who started growing up had fewer opportunities to end up like Laura did. I do not mean abuse, and even more demon possession. But drugs, pornography, "parties" like the one she had with Leo... it used to be much less than now.

And now I am reading about Laura and I'm starting to think what we should do to prevent her contact with all that shit as much as possible.

To tell you the truth at the moment the book seems to move me more than the series (which I am presently watching, too).

Bobi 1 Kenobi

B. Beware
O. Of
B. BOB